People

The Nightmare Before Testing

by Lady WhistleblowerUpdated on December 20, 2024December 20, 2024

Dearest Gentle Reader, Come and gather round the fire while I relate to you this strangest of tales. Alas, that there are no ghosts to bring holiday redemption or hearts bursting into joyfulness and expanding with love (time three no less!), but sometimes true tales do not sport such happy endings. Our tale begins one day in the late autumn in a small village called Stewarttown. Now this town had a mayor named Burgerspinster Spinsterburger. Even though he actually held the title of mayor, he was essentially its dictator. And Burgerspinster Spinsterburger’s tiny shriveled heart held a secret. Inside his …

Top 10 Symptoms That the King is Experiencing Roid Rage

by Lady WhistleblowerUpdated on December 18, 2024December 18, 2024

10) Extra paranoia in addition to his regular paranoia 9) Has an unnatural hatred of pitchforks – that useful barn tool! 8) Temper tantrums enhanced by super sweats 7) Thinks postal gnomes are stealing his mail for profit (Step 1 – Steal Mail, Step 2 – ??, Step 3 – PROFIT!!) 6) Has stashes of extra clothes everywhere because Hulk gets angry and rips them 5) Has anger that can only be appeased by hearing Kerlores Dumbridge-Void’s nasal tones 4) Eyeballs start to sweat whenever he tries to read email on a computer screen – therefore, he doesn’t read email. …

HRM King Spinster News Observations School Bored

Rules for Thee and NOT for Me

by Lady WhistleblowerUpdated on December 17, 2024December 17, 2024

Dearest Gentle Reader, I’ve heard it said that great communication begins with connection, and it’s one of those maxims that seems so apparently true that, rather than being profound, it just comes across as being obvious. Recently a communication between the King and School Bored fell into this author’s hands, and thus into this column. In the letter, the King disparages the district as a whole, its staff, and to close, the Bored itself. Now for those of you having no idea what the King is referring to when he talks about people showing up with pitchforks, it’s that he …

People School Bored

Meet the Bored

by Lady WhistleblowerUpdated on October 29, 2024October 29, 2024

Dearest Gentle Reader, It has been said that before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others. If this is true, then one could deduce that our School Bored is a dismal failure. Take the leader of the Bored, Kerlores Dumbridge-Void, our very own Queen of Hearts. If one looks past her penchant for always trying to decapitate, metaphorically speaking, anyone she perceives to be an enemy (and everyone is the enemy!) she seems to have zero to little notion of what growing others even means. In …

HRM King Spinster People

The King Has Spoken

by Lady WhistleblowerUpdated on October 29, 2024October 25, 2024

Dearest gentle reader, Despite his short time with us, having started his journey on August 1st and having shared his “vision” during convocation, the King just wants to say thank you to those who are “tea bags.” As peons, we have a choice. We can submit to the environment that is imposed on us by the King and allow the environment to change us OR we can stick to our ideals and keep doing what is right for our students. Far too often, a despotic environment dims our light, and we tire of fighting for what we know is right …

HRM King Spinster Top 10 Lists

Top 10 Signs that You May Have the Correct Anatomical Characteristics to be a King

by Lady WhistleblowerUpdated on December 18, 2024October 22, 2024

Dearest Gentle Reader, This author brings to you… The Top 10 Signs that You May Have the Correct Anatomical Characteristics to be a King 10) Demonstrates Selective Hearing 9) Frontal Lobe Developed Towards Need for Adulation 8) High in the Instep 7) Muscular Physique to Assert Physical Domination (along with a very large spleen) 6) Hosts Respiratory Demon (assists with blowing a lot of hot air) 5) Lack of/underdeveloped Humerus 4) Selectively Attractive Gluteus Maximus (for those who bestow posterior smooches) 3) Penetrating Predator Gaze 2) Dopamine Addiction to Social Media And the number one sign that you have the …

HRM King Spinster News School Bored

Chains of Command

by Lady WhistleblowerUpdated on September 17, 2024September 17, 2024

Dearest Gentle Reader – It has been said that every civilization depends upon the quality of the individuals it produces – and nowhere could this be more true than in our educational institutions. And one could deduce that this is dependent on the quality of the relationships that one cultivates with others. Indeed, the cultivation of relationships is foundational to education and society. So this author has serious doubts about the King’s firm, and rather rabid stance, on personal isolationism from his many subjects. In fact, it has been widely announced that one must not approach the King and instead …

HRM King Spinster News People Privy Council

An Introduction

by Lady WhistleblowerUpdated on September 8, 2024September 7, 2024

Dearest gentle reader, We’ve been apart for far too long. At last, FedHock’s dumb set has made its return, and so too has this author. As the season begins, the question on everyone’s mind, of course, is, which newly minted royal will shine the brightest? The crop this year proves to be rather bedazzling indeed. Unfortunately, not every new royal can attract the light and survive it. Our most recently appointed monarch is the shiny brand new HRM (His Royal Meathead) King Chasin Spinster. This author is certain that if the spotlight is not on Spinster, he will surely find his …

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