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10) Extra paranoia in addition to his regular paranoia 9) Has an unnatural hatred of pitchforks – that useful barn tool! 8) Temper tantrums enhanced by super sweats 7) Thinks postal gnomes are stealing his mail for profit (Step 1 – Steal Mail, Step 2 – ??, Step 3 – PROFIT!!) 6) Has stashes of extra clothes everywhere because Hulk gets angry and rips them 5) Has anger that can only be appeased by hearing Kerlores Dumbridge-Void’s nasal tones 4) Eyeballs start to sweat whenever he tries to read email on a computer screen – therefore, he doesn’t read email. …

Dearest Gentle Reader, This author brings to you… The Top 10 Signs that You May Have the Correct Anatomical Characteristics to be a King 10) Demonstrates Selective Hearing 9) Frontal Lobe Developed Towards Need for Adulation 8) High in the Instep 7) Muscular Physique to Assert Physical Domination (along with a very large spleen) 6) Hosts Respiratory Demon (assists with blowing a lot of hot air) 5) Lack of/underdeveloped Humerus 4) Selectively Attractive Gluteus Maximus (for those who bestow posterior smooches) 3) Penetrating Predator Gaze 2) Dopamine Addiction to Social Media And the number one sign that you have the …