Lady Whistleblower 10) Cafeterias will only serve protein shakes and celery
9) Make Federal Hocking Great Again! Two words: Coal Mining!
8) Make students wear mop slippers while in the school, we can save on custodial services!
7) Contract students out as physical laborers to local construction companies in lieu of PE
6) Apply for a Cannabis grow license for the FFA Greenhouse
5) Require a district “food tithe” where residents must give up 10% of all hunting, fishing and farming resources to the district to help stock the cafeteria. (For days when they run out of protein shakes and celery.)
4) Music students will be forced to make money by busking on the streets of Stewart.
3) Shut down the MS and HS by shipping all of the students to college. (Note: this is already in progress)
2) All district properties will be maintained by using scythes, thus saving fuel and machine maintenance. Groundskeepers will wear black robes to scare students into submission by making them believe their misbehavior will result in their death. (This should also help with administration costs related to behavior management.)
And the number 1 idea for Addressing the Kingdom’s Financial Issues IS….
- Fire all of the teachers, put all of the students on devices, and have them be taught by AI!
