Lady Whistleblower Dearest Gentle Reader,
It has long been said that, “Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.” And this has certainly seemed to be the case surrounding the king’s rather sordid past.
But truth be told (and this author is certainly wedded to that concept) this endeavor to reveal truths to the citizenry of the kingdom has snowballed far beyond this humble author’s imagination. And I have you, dearest reader, to thank for it.
Many people from all over our fair land and even from outside of our kingdom, have reached out to me for various reasons – encouragement, assistance, criticism, but most importantly, information. This feels appropriate given the title of this column, The Latest On Dit – as on dit is French for, “they say” or “it is said”. It is commonly understood in English to mean a piece of gossip or rumor. And while there are regulars who share, occasionally odd and strange information comes this author’s way from both near and far.
While this endeavor is meant to be a satirical place to criticize the current operations and leadership of the Kingdom of FedHock, this author must be careful to publish things rooted in the truth – or things so outrageous they cannot be mistaken for the truth, which is actually hard to do sometimes. So while some information has come in that is quite damning and damaging, much of it is unsubstantiated. This author will not publish these without concrete proof. Even if there are multiple sources that seem to corroborate a story, again, it is simply hearsay – and this author will not knowingly publish something that is false.
Sometimes information comes in and due to the sensitive nature of either the source or the situation, this author will also wait to publish. It is interesting that there are people who want me to know things, but don’t want me to publish things. This is ok as well. I do my best to honor all of my sources.
In other instances, there is information that comes to me with proof that is so interesting, that it is sometimes passed on (with permission from the source) to the local media. In these cases, this author feels that legitimate news outlets can best bring information to light to the greater community and lend it weight that this author does not possess. This author is a mere amateur who hopes to entertain, as well as inform, but conditions have made it clear that the situation in our kingdom is quite dire, and so lately more and more humor has been set aside.
But ultimately, what this author wants to do is to put herself out of a job. The goal here is to have a healthy and functioning Kingdom. Whether this comes about through an awakening of the current “bored”, the autumn board elections (because we need a board, not a “bored”), new in-school leadership in the form of a decent, responsible, empathetic, and supportive superintendent (definitely a big list there), and support for the staff, it remains to be seen how this transformation will occur. But at the core of it all is our staff who works hard each day to bring our children the best possible education they can receive – and leadership should be working with them, not against them.
So please help put me out of a job. If you have information, gossip will always be accepted – but better yet, if there is any information backed with proof that you will actually share with me, please feel free to reach out. The public response to this endeavor has been overwhelming, and this author is grateful in the extreme. Hopefully, with an engaged and informed citizenry, we can set the kingdom aright.
And for those of you who made it all the way to the end…here’s a little tidbit! You know those gaming systems that the King gave out to “reward” students who worked hard on the test? Here’s some info for you:
- The gaming systems were last gen, meaning they are not the most recent gaming system available as they are PS4s, not PS5s. Most new games will not be released for them, and support for the platform will probably be phased out by the end of year. Of course, for someone who has no console at all, this would still be a prize.
- It seems fairly evident that these machines are refurbs, as they did not come in boxes, just bubble wrap. Again – this comes with its own set of potential issues, but nothing that the King has to worry about once he gets his PR op.
- The most important point, the games that came with the systems were not rated appropriately for elementary school children. In fact, some of the games might not be suitable for some high school students. This alone should be investigated, because it looks like yet another instance of unprofessional misfeasance on the part of whoever made this decision. This author suspects that this was the King’s doing – but will he be held accountable for it? The King’s arbitrary and capricious decision to purchase these consoles without regard to the intended audience and seemingly without proper research as to age-appropriateness is just yet another example of his impulsivity. And if this was something passed along to a subordinate to do, were they given proper guidelines as to what should be ordered?
- Fourth, who paid for these? But hey – even if they did come out of the King’s personal pocket, it was a small price to pay to get his picture on the District’s FB page again!
WINNING!
Sincerely,
Lady Whistleblower
LATE BREAKING NEWS
The “bored” has scheduled a special meeting on Tuesday, May 13 @7PM in the MS/HS library. On the notice, the “bored” has indicated that it will go directly into executive session and that they will take no actions at the meeting – well, at least not in public. It is also a non-secret that they will be discussing the high school secretary, and this author believes that her supporters will be in attendance. No pitchforks or torches needed for this one folks, because there isn’t a parade scheduled – but that doesn’t mean that the King and Queen won’t call in law enforcement, yet again, to serve their delusions of grandeur and paranoia.
