Lady Whistleblower Dearest Gentle Reader-
It has been said that “Snow brings a special quality with it — the power to stop life as you know it dead in its tracks.” And this author, along with everyone else in education, understands this more than anyone else.
Snow days have become a hallmark of fond childhood reminisces, but living through snow day mania is actually quite painful. When meteorologists include that snowflake icon in their forecasts, it sets off a mental whirlwind of anticipation, regardless of it being reasonable or not.
Some hallmarks of Snow Psychosis as evidenced in schools:
- If the snow started before school, there is non-stop complaining that it was too bad to be at school. Stories about vehicular close calls abound. Detailed descriptions of road conditions and warnings about particularly bad areas are shared and are the main topic of conversation.
- If the snow starts while at school, students make up excuses in order to get out of class to check up on the snow. They press their eager faces against chilled windows in order gain a better vantage. When returning to the classroom, there will come the inevitable snow update announcement. Exaggerations are to be expected, along with occasional yeti sightings. Snow excitement “snowballs” throughout the class.
- Even if the snow is minimal and is not sticking on the roads, the inevitable rumors around school being dismissed early and plans for not being at school the next day commence.
This excitability around this normal weather phenomenon can basically be dubbed, Snow Psychosis. Students generally cannot contain their excitement about the snow and find it difficult to concentrate on normal routines. Eventually, this Snow Psychosis will result in a series of superstitious rituals designed to call enough snow for the school to be closed. Some things to watch for:
- Wearing pajamas inside out and backwards
- Putting a spoon under your pillow
- Flushing ice cubes down the toilet
- Putting ice cubes on the porch (because apparently there is a frozen weather communication system whereby ice cubes call to the snow)
- Doing a “snow dance” (This author does not condone cultural appropriation, but apparently there is an official Native American dance which is said to call the snow.)
- Running around the dining room table (5 times) before going to bed
- Freezing a white crayon and then putting it under your pillow
Some students believe that NOT doing homework or other assignments due on a snow day will actually act as an anti-snow day ritual, and that it is MORE likely to have a snow day if all work is complete. Unfortunately, most students fall into the “it’s going to snow so I’m going to blow everything off, and then use the snow as an excuse for not having anything done should school be in session.”
As we enter into the Sacred Season of Snow Days, may you always have a warm blanket to cuddle up with, a good book or favorite movie for enjoyment, and a cup of warm cheer to complete your day.
Ta!
Lady Whistleblower
Note: This author should point out that the staff is not immune from the effects of Snow Psychosis, and is elevated in times of extreme stress.
