Rumours

Dearest Gentle Reader,

This author took a much needed break from the trials and tribulations of kingdom drama. You would think that holiday celebrations would have moderated the slow descent into dissolution, but this is where you are wrong. Despite the extra grace granted to us by nature’s gentle ministration, our royal overlords continued to plan the eventual destruction of the Kingdom as we know it – for it has been said that narcissists try to destroy your life with lies because they know theirs can be destroyed with the truth. And never has this been more true. 

Here are just a few things that have come to light and/or are rumoured to have occurred…

• The King and Queen pre-decided the replacement of departing school bored member, Abhorrence, as the Queen states, “we will find someone to fill his place who is better aligned with the vision.” This means that the bored isn’t interested in filling spots that represent the community, rather that they need to put their allies on the bored who will follow the Queen and King’s commands.
• The Queen visited the ailing and rapidly failing Pester Brown, who was in a medical facility, and asked him to come to the bored meeting to support her candidate choice. Sadly, Brown has since shed his mortal coil, leaving yet another vacancy on the bored. The Queen is salivating at the thought of indenturing yet another lady or lord in waiting.
• The bored’s first replacement member, Myle Liccass, has never actually run for the bored, but seems to get in by waiting for a vacancy. His dedication to the bored is such that Liccass actually missed the deadline for getting on the last ballot. Given that, why would he be the first choice for a replacement? Answer – his past tenure on the bored showed him to be a consummate suck up to the Queen, and current thinking is that he will slot right back into his role as the Queen’s Page, or better yet, the Queen’s Meat Shield should he be elected president.
• The Queen and the King think that teachers who advocate for children (“silly field trips”) are “hostile” and (sic) disrespectful and need to be held accountable. We’re pretty sure that we heard the Queen muttering something along the lines of off with their heads.
• The current staffing reduction plan is to cut 9 teachers for the 25-26 school year. (Off with their heads, indeed!) This means that elementary school classrooms (Grades 1 – 6) could go up to 32 students per class, MS up to 33 students per class, and HS to 34 students per class, except PE or Music which could have up to 50 students per class.
  
  Just because one can do something, does not mean one should do something. This author wonders in who’s world it is that having 32-50 students in a single classroom is a good thing.
  
• The Queen and King are planning, behind the scenes, to close down the elementary schools for school year 26-27 and move to one campus, even as the Queen writes, “I am sure you’re aware the elementary community’s will not support this change. I am interested in discussing it though…”
• In order to make the move to a single campus, the King and Queen believe that the Kingdom will need to pass a levy, which undermines their claims that the move will save a lot of money.
• It is uncertain whether or not the King and Queen have shared their plans with the entirety of the School Bored, but none of this has been discussed in public, which raises concerns about potential violations of Sunshine Laws. Yes, let the sunshine in! Let’s see actual public discussions at a school bored meeting. That would be novel.
• The northern Kingdom of Trimble is also having financial issues to the tune of $1.6 million. Interestingly, our last king, King David, was a consummate follower of Trimble’s King, and over the past five years numerous fiscal “decisions” were made without bored approval – or under shady/misleading conditions. If the bored had been more interested in what was really going on, wouldn’t they have uncovered this questionable spending? And when it WAS uncovered, wouldn’t they have DONE anything about it? When Abhorrence came back on the bored, that was exactly the type of thing he was working on. It’s not surprising then, that the King and Queen were so threatened by him.

This, dearest reader, is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg in all of the dramatic lives of our Kingdom’s royals. Know that everyone who is under their authority is under threat for their livelihoods if they should dare to step out of line. Of course, this authority only exists for as long as the threats continue. Once the tipping point in inequality is reached, it’s entirely possible that  threats will no longer apply.

Qu’ils mangent de la brioche!

Lady Whistleblower