Lady Whistleblower Dearest gentle reader,
It has been said that there are more important things than winning or losing a game, but FedHock’s gridiron players have raised losing to an entirely new art form.
This author had certainly held high hopes for the games against non-God opponents, but alas winning was not meant to be. Simply stated, the losses have moved from heartbreaking to body breaking. If God wanted to assure a win for His beloved Madonna, he made sure that FedHock would not carry any type of season momentum when coming against His God Squad.
Following four straight losses (Millersport 30-20, Frontier 48-14, Linden-McKinley 65-0, Manchester 58-18), the Lancers put everything they had into preparing for Madonna. It was an all-out blitz hoping to turn the tide of Lancer bad luck. There was even a specially prepared pre-game meal made entirely up of tots and pears.
Unfortunately, God answered Madonna’s call by granting them a 42-0 win over our bedraggled boys. There seemed to be some sort of significance or secret message being communicated by this score, but unfortunately, if that was the answer the Lancers were looking for to life, the universe, and everything, it must be certain that no one knew the question.
Be that as it may, our boys will soldier on through to the final game of the season. It is one last chance at end zone redemption, as Paden City may actually provide an opportunity to not end on a disabling loss.
Here’s to more tots and pears for a safe ending to the season.
Yours Truly,
Lady Whistleblower
P.S. Tots and pears DO work on occasion, for this author just found out that Paden City has had to withdraw from the field of battle due to injuries, thus granting our Lancers an uncontested victory!
