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The Latest On Dit

The Latest On Dit for May 16

Dearest Gentle Reader, It has been said that, “Our public officials have forgotten that they are ultimately accountable to the people who put them in office, that the information they keep in secrecy belongs to all of us.” And so it is with the greatest of pleasures, that this author delves into this particular topic. The Ongoing Saga of Shamblin’s Non-Renewal Now the conversation whispered on everyone’s lips is wondering at the inner workings of the “bored.” What are the “bored” members thinking?” What are they doing? What do they know that we do not? Of course, we, the public, …

News

A Troubling Year with the King

STEWART, Ohio — For Ima Gone, the nonrenewal of Jake Shamblin’s contract was just the latest in a year of troubles at Federal Hocking. Gone is the guidance counselor at Federal Hocking High School, where Shamblin is principal. By the time the “bored” decided to non-renew Shamblin, Gone had already made a decision of her own: to be literally going, going, gone. This is certainly something that even the auctioneering Queen should understand. “If this would have happened and I hadn’t put in my resignation yet, I would have at this point,” Gone said. Gone said the problems began at …

The Latest On Dit

The Latest On Dit for May 9

Dearest Gentle Reader, It has long been said that, “Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.” And this has certainly seemed to be the case surrounding the king’s rather sordid past. But truth be told (and this author is certainly wedded to that concept) this endeavor to reveal truths to the citizenry of the kingdom has snowballed far beyond this humble author’s imagination. And I have you, dearest reader, to thank for it. Many people from all over our fair land and even from outside of our kingdom, have reached out to me for …

The Latest On Dit

The Latest On Dit for April 25

Dearest Gentle Reader, It has been said that, “When good people do bad things, it is sad, but when they reach the point where one can predict that they will do nothing but bad things, a deeper kind of sadness sets in, almost at the level of resignation.” And in this case, it seems that many people are choosing literal resignation as a result. When checking the temperature of the state of our Kingdom, certain things stand out, but nothing more than the fact that we are still in the middle of a mass exodus of teachers and administrators. This …

The Latest On Dit

The Latest On Dit for April 18

Dearest Gentle Reader, It has been said that, “Secrecy is what is known, but not to everyone. Privacy is what allows us to keep what we know to ourselves.” And with this in mind, let us embark upon a lengthy journey of this past week…with both facts and speculation. Let us start with the most non-surprising surprise of the week… The Non-Renewal of Rake Shamblin The Protest It was a pleasant surprise to have this month’s Bored agenda published before the actual meeting took place. Within it was an item indicating the King’s intent to non-renew Shamblin. This resulted in …

The Latest On Dit

The Latest On Dit for April 11

Dearest Gentle Reader, A wise woman, Ms. Brown once said, “If you think dealing with issues like worthiness and authenticity and vulnerability are not worthwhile because there are more pressing issues, like the bottom line or attendance or standardized test scores, you are sadly, sadly mistaken. It underpins everything.” And with that, shall we dive in? The Season of Testing Stress High stakes testing season has begun, as evidenced by the social missives posted to the Kingdom’s socials and various school newsletters. The King even graced us all with a short video of himself. I guess that $5000 bonus is …

News

New Canal System to Replace Bus Routes

Dearest Gentle Reader, With the recent inundation of heavy rains and multiple problems with flooded roads, the Lord High Admiral , Mat Stoolr, has been looking into transportation alternatives. “We looked into the whole range of vehicles from pontoon boats, hovercraft and amphibious vehicles. Unfortunately, the cost was way out of our league,” said Stoolr. ”So we thought about going low tech, and figured the best option for us would be canal boats. “  According to Stoolr, with the Federal Creek and Hocking River creating a water “superhighway” through the district already, it wouldn’t be that difficult to dig out …

The Latest On Dit

The Latest On Dit for March 21

Dearest Gentle Reader, This author finds that it is time once again to put pen to paper to bring you up to date with the latest news of the Kingdom. It has been said that, “Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light” and it definitely feels truer now more than ever. So much has happened that this may be a bit longer than normal, but this author shall dutifully prevail… A Verbal Warning for Me and a Written One for Thee At the much anticipated and well-attended Bored meeting of the month, it was …

Top 10 Lists

Top Ten Bored Misconceptions about the Sunshine Law

10) The sun has to shine a certain percentage of the time, because that’s the law 9) If the sun is shining, they can do whatever they want – this is why they have special bored meetings in the afternoon 8) Anytime a song is played with “sunshine” or “sun” in the title, a rando flash mob occurs 7) That King Spinster is the foretold return of the Sun King (hint: he’s not, that was King George who brought us solar panels) 6) That students who receive too much sunshine (i.e. recess) will fail all state tests. So no recess …

The Queen

Queen Seeks Lost Family Fortune to Alleviate Kingdom’s Funding Woes

Dearest Gentle Reader, While the advent of St. Patrick’s Day is often celebrated amongst green beer-swilling Irish fanatics, our Queen has been forced to focus her attention on her current predicament. As most of you know, our Queen has been facing much public scrutiny and derision, mostly  relating to her undying support of the current King. In order to rescue her good-works public persona, she knew that she needed a positive PR event of epic proportions. Her cunning plan? To unravel the secrets behind a family mystery leading to riches beyond the dreams of avarice. For certainly becoming the financial …